Monday, April 21, 2008

A joy forever

Ach, listen! It hit me how good it is to be alive. Alive! And I wanted to tell you. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm saying life is a thing of beauty, Bruno. A thing of beauty and a joy forever.
There was a pause.
Sure, whatever you say Leo. Life is a beauty.
And a joy forever, I said.
All right, Bruno said. And a joy.
I waited.
Forever.
I was about to hang up when Bruno said, Leo?
Yes?
Did you mean human life?

He slid a piece of paper under the door. It said: LIFE IS BUTIFUL. I pushed it back out. He pushed it back in. I pushed it out, he pushed it in. Out, in, out, in. I stared at it. LIFE IS BUTIFUL. I thought, Perhaps it is. Perhaps that is the word for life. I heard Bruno breathing on the other side of the door. I found a pencil. I scrawled: AND A JOKE FOREVER.

A single rip is harder to bear than a hundred rips.

But I'm not made of glass.

I thought it would be strange to live in the world without her in it.

Many things I did not say. Example. I waited so long. Other example. And were you happy?

Grammar of my life: as a rule of thumb, wherever there appears a plural, correct for singular.

What would be less plain than seeing?

"You got a little happier and a little sadder." "Meaning they cancel each other out, leaving me exactly the same." "Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also became a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which means that right now, at this exact moment, you're the happiest and the saddest you've ever been in your whole life."

"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you."

From Nicole Krauss' The History of Love.

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